One of the most important parts of a relationship is your communication. This will help you take your intimacy to a new level, make your partner feel valued and respected, and ensure that you’re having the best relationship you can. Many of us come to relationships with whatever communication norms we grew up with and don’t really analyse why we’re in those patterns or if they’re serving us. No matter how good or bad your communication is with your partner, taking it to a new level will be great for your relationship. Keep reading to learn my top 4 ways to improve your communication with your partner. 

1. Focus on Truly Listening
Sometimes we just listen in a conversation to respond as fast as possible and to get to the part where we can share our funny story! Stop listening to respond and instead listen so you can really hear what they’re saying. Ask questions that allow them to go deeper into what they’re saying, such as ‘how did that make you feel?” and watch as they soften. Sometimes we carry around a lot of frustration and anger about not feeling heard, and when someone truly listens to us this can melt away. 

2. Understand Everyone is Different
Your partner may want to talk about their feelings, or they might prefer to talk about what they think about something. Don’t pressure them to share their feelings if they’re not comfortable. What’s important is to hear them in the way they want to be heard. Men and women tend to communicate in very different ways. Have you ever stopped to wonder why don’t men moan? This is a big difference that’s really obvious. Realizing that your partner is probably very different to you and not pressuring them to communicate in the same way can be a great step forward. 

3. Make Regular Check-ins
Life is busy and it can be easy to let your relationship slide to the bottom of the to-do list and to take it for granted. I find that having a regular check-in, whether it’s a weekly date or meeting, to see how you’re both feeling what your wins were and what you need to work on can do wonders for a relationship. How often you make the check-ins will depend on your lifestyle and needs, but it is important to make time to really connect with each other. Try to focus on what you feel like you’re doing right as well as the things you’d like to work on. 

4. Consider Therapy
Doing therapy is the best way to improve your communication because you’ll have a trained professional to act as a mediator for any tough conversations you might need to have. I know some couples that just have annual therapy check-in sessions close to their anniversary to make sure any small problems don’t become big problems. I have other friends who go in monthly to just keep everything healthy, like a monthly dental exam. However you choose to go is up to you, but having it be a normal part of your relationship can be a great way to improve your communication. 

Want more relationship tips? Check out the blog Love My Senses for more.